Love among the bleachers

Date at sporting event provides relaxed mood for match-up

By KATHY FLANIGAN

Posted: Feb. 9, 2006

Claire Danes and Billy Crudup did it on a date. Mary-Kate Olsen and nightclub owner Richie Akiva did, too. Ditto Chloe Sevigny and the unidentified man at her side.

They went to a basketball game.

Granted, they probably didn't share nachos. Their seats were better than most. And, of course, their very presence at a Knicks' game was documented. But they, like so many of you, chose a sporting event for a night of l'amour.

It's hardly a radical concept in Milwaukee, where first dates to wedding anniversaries are likely to be celebrated in the stands. Here's a tip: There's going to be a Valentine's Day proposal at the Bucks game on Tuesday, according to John Steinmiller, vice president of business operations for the team.

Not surprisingly, Steinmiller thinks a sporting event is a great idea for a date. He especially likes basketball.

"It's not an awkward situation because there's entertainment' there's something going on every minute," Steinmiller said. "It's not like dinner or sitting in a bar and thinking, 'Gee, what am I going to say next.' You can talk about the players, talk about the team's prospects for the playoffs. Even if you're not a big fan, there's enough going on and off the court."

For Kevin and Kelly Baehler of Appleton, romance followed the oft-told story: Boy meets girl. Boy has season tickets. Girl is fan.

"My husband and I went on our first date to a Bucks game in 1991," said Kelly Baehler. "You can really tell a lot about a guy's personality (by) the way he acts at a ball game."

A relationship pregame show

Score one for the Baehlers, according to former Milwaukeean John Seeley, a life strategist.

"Taking a date to a sporting event is a good way to offer a different date from the norm," Seeley said from his base in California.

"People at sporting events often let themselves relax, and therefore, you get to see more of their inner personality. Are they considerate of others, or do they shout vulgarities without noticing the kids two seats down? Do they drink 10 beers and belch, or do they share their nachos and margarita? Do they talk to you during the game, or are they lost in the action? This may be a preview of what's to come if you continue to date," Seeley said.

Baehler, 38, liked what she saw. She and Kevin, 42, are expecting their third child, and they remain fans of the sports date - but with a twist. They traded in their Bucks tickets for Marquette University season tickets so the entire family can attend.

It doesn't have to be only basketball that makes a great date. And he doesn't need to be the one with the tickets.

For Sarah Nader, an outing to Miller Park became an opportunity to find out more details about the man she had been dating for a month. He had never been to the park before, but mentioned when they got there that his father was connected with its construction.

"So we talked about his family," said the 22-year-old.

Even better, Nader said, "the seats were so close together that it practically forced us to get cuddly. He held my hand the whole time. We laughed as we did the wave and kissed every time there was a great play or hit made."

Nader so enjoyed her Miller Park experience that she popped for Packers tickets.

"It's a long car drive," she said. "You get to know what kind of music they like."

Then, too, there's the traffic after the game. Her date didn't snarl or swear or cut anyone off in line.

"He's fine. I get all worked up," she said.

Liz H. Kelly, dating coach and author of "Smart Man Hunting: A Fast-Track Dating Guide for Finding Mr. Right," applauds those who mix sports and dating.

"You can quickly gauge your match factor by whether your cheers, beers and peers click or clash," Kelly said by e-mail. "Watch the way a date interacts with everyone in the arena. Are they courteous to the ticket takers, positive with your peers and pleasant to the beer man?"

Look what being pleasant did for "Desperate Housewives" star Eva Longoria. She's a regular at San Antonio Spurs games in her home state of Texas and she's the girlfriend of Spurs star Tony Parker.

Read the right signs

Lindsay Hogan, 24, and Brad Garrison, 27, have been on every variety of sporting-event date. The Texas couple have tongue-in-cheek, gender-based perspectives on what to look for in a good date. He wants someone who will drink a beer and eat a hot dog, not order a cosmopolitan.

Hogan suggests the introduction test: "If he sees his friends there, does he introduce you? How does he introduce you?"

It's been nine months and five sports for the twosome.

But be careful how much you read into how a date acts at a sports event, said Christian End, a social psychologist at Xavier University who specializes in fan behavior. No one gets ejected for yelling at an official, and shouting down opposing fans is part of the aesthetic of the sporting venue.

"This may be the one context you see the person act in that way," said End, a Shorewood native who confesses that his wife has learned to accept his Packers obsession.

End's research also looked at couples and sports and how individual involvement might affect a relationship.

"Seems like outcome has a big impact," End said. "We would ask them questions like, 'After your significant other's team loses, to what extent are you likely to talk to them or are you likely to argue?' "

He found that, in a lot of instances, people were not fun to be around after their team lost. Most people prefer their dates to be charming rather than irritable or pouty.

A loss is better handled if couples are rooting for the same team, End said. There's no easy outcome when individuals in the couple are rooting for opposing teams.

"It has the potential for not being the best way to get a second date," End said.

A successful sports date, like a history-making play, can build memories.

Diane Areneson, 42, remembers being courted courtside.

"Our first date was to the Marquette Holiday Classic way back when. At the time, I really wasn't into basketball too much, but I agreed to go because, well, I really liked him. The tickets may have been free and, even if they weren't, he probably didn't pay too much for them. The seats were good and we had a great time," she said. "Now, 24 years later, he's taking our kids to the games and leaves me at home!"