AUTHOR/SPEAKER & EXECUTIVE / PERSONAL LIFE COACH, JOHN SEELEY, ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

Dear John,

I have been wanting a romantic relationship for years, but I seem to only attract emotionally available partners. How can I find someone who is really available?

Lonely in Illinois

Dear Lonely,

Chances are there is some part of you that is unavailable, as well. We tend to attract mirrors in our lives, so if you want to attract someone really available, you need to look inside you. Find the part of you that isn't available, and heal the wound attached to that feeling. You will then attract someone available.

Dear John,

I have romantic feelings for a friend, but I don't know if he feels the same way. What should I do?

Hoping in Vermont

Dear Hoping,

It's important to be open with your feelings. You do risk changing the relationship forever by sharing your feelings. However, if you don't, you risk never having the kind of relationship you really want. You may find the feelings are reciprocal. If not, you won't have the doubt in your mind of "what if?" Let go of the outcome. Try getting quiet and asking yourself what you should do. Often the answer will come clearer if you listen for it.

Dear John,

My mom is always calling me and seems to be trying to still control me, even though I'm an adult. I love her and don't want to hurt her, but what can I do to get her to lighten up?

Freedom Seeker in Dallas

Dear Freedom Seeker,

You have to set healthy boundaries between you and your mom. You need to be fir but compassionate with her. Let her know you love her, and you still need to have your own space to live your life. Once you set the boundary, stick to it to show your mom you are serious. She will have to learn to live with it.