Advice for Dating Online by John Seeley

In today’s dating realm, online dating is becoming the norm, rather than the exception. For those who decide to jump into the online dating pool, some words of wisdom are in order to help the process.

If you haven’t already tried online dating, take a look at some of the popular sites and see what’s available to you. The sites vary with the type of compatibility matching. Look and see what types of people they have on the site. Read their profile and see if they seem like the type you want to date. They have various sites that cater to specific requirements, like religion, or interest, like a specific sport. Judge for your self as to what you think fits you best.

There are some basic things to consider in the online dating game. One is your profile. It’s important to portray who you really are and what you’re looking for as detailed as possible. It’s good to put some of your personality into the profile to give perspective suitors a better idea of the type of person you are. In your self description be honest. If you’re 49 don’t say you are 39, even if you look it. However searches are often done by age, and if you want to date in the younger category, sometimes you can list that age, as yours as long as you come forward with your real age in your description, since you may look, act and feel much younger than your chronological age might indicate.

Portray yourself as who you are. Add pizzazz to your profile by using some of your personality, humor and creativity. Tell about what you are really like, e.g. “I’m an outgoing person, that likes to participate in sports, and I hope to complete the L.A. Marathon next year, and this time I’ll start at the beginning!” Remember false advertising will prove to be a problem sooner or later. Relationships are built on trust. That has to begin right from the start. Ask yourself, would you want someone to lie to you? No of course not, so why would you lie to someone else.

Go through all the questionnaires and answer with enough detail to convey what you’re about. When you’re finished, go back and review it a day or two later. You can always edit or add to it. Look at other profiles, or read the help sections for each site to get hints on how to write a great profile. If you have a trusted friend, have them read it and give you constructive feedback. Remember this is what others will use to decide if they are interested in getting to know you better. Put a picture on the profile. If you are completely technically challenged, have someone help you to get your pictures up. Again make sure you have good ones that show who you really are, and show you in a good light. If you don’t have any pictures, or they aren’t in a digital format, ask for help. Your local Kinko's can convert photos to digital, or your film developing can be developed into digital. So you have no excuses. Remember if someone is going to reject you because of your looks, it’s better if it’s not in person.

It’s just as important to write what you are looking for in detail too. Remember it’s hard to hit a target if you don’t know what it looks like. Make sure you mention any “deal breakers.” If a certain religion, or belief, or physical trait is absolutely required, make sure you state that. This helps to keep you from wasting time with people that don’t meet your minimal requirements. If you want to share some special hobbies, say that. If things are only a bonus type then say it’s a preference. Do allow some leeway in your desires on the negotiable stuff. Have a range of height or weight, or ages. Often you find what you’re looking for in a different package than you were thinking. Be open and flexible.

Now that you have a profile, it’s time for you to peruse the other profiles that fit your requirements. If you see someone that meets them, send them an e-mail. Tell them something about you that you feel will interest them, and mention something in their profile that you liked. Use a little humor or some part of your personality that may intrigue or interest them. Remember to go at your own pace. Reveal as much or as little as you feel comfortable doing. Don’t give your personal information, like address or phone number till you’re sure that the person is trustworthy. Give it a try and see what you find, maybe true love!