Putting the Spark in your Love Life by John Seeley

They say romance is dead. I don’t agree. It has seen better times though. Many of us have gotten so busy, and in some cases too tired or complacent ion our relationships, that romance has gone to the wayside. For some, they need the ideas on just how to be romantic. This is what this is about. Creating romance.

Romance is not something that just happens. It involves time and effort. To begin it needs to be individualized to the persons involved. Find out what that person likes and dislikes. Do they have a certain scent they like? Scent is a very strong aphrodisiac. What kind of foods do they like? Do they like restaurant or home cooking better? Do they like champagne or some special drink? Do they have any favorite romantic music or bands, like Barry White, or Luther Vandross? Do they like flowers? If so what kind? Do they have any favorite romantic spots? Do they like romantic movies?

Ok, now that you’re armed with the likes and dislikes of your partner, it’s time to weave a romantic encounter. Some people can whip up romance quickly, but most need the time to really set the stage properly. To begin with, you need to alert the person to have the time to enjoy this romantic tryst. You can attempt a complete surprise, but you risk the timing and mood problems of not expecting to be alone or romantic with you. You can leave it as a mystery rather than a complete surprise. People like mysteries. This offers you the option to tell them how to dress to match the ambiance and mood you plan on offering.

Once you have the time set, you need to get any potential distractions out of the way. This includes family, friends and strangers. To that end, get baby sitters if necessary, alert family and friends that you don’t want to be disturbed, and turn off or unplug the phone. Start with yourself. Make sure you look your best. Shower, shave, wear you partner’s favorite scent on you. Dress to fit the occasion.

Setting the stage whether at home or in public, have some special things set up. Make sure the mood is set with candles, their favorite flowers, and whatever makes your partner feel special. If at home special scented candles or aroma diffusers can be used to make the ambiance emanate with romance. (Certain essential oils are said to have aphrodisiac properties.) Candle light always seems to set a romantic mood. So be extravagant, have lots of candles. (Be sure to set them up safely)

Choose a restaurant that has dim light, and romantic music. If at home, have romantic music playing like, Sade, or Marvin Gaye, etc. The whole goal is to make your partner feel special. Set the rest of the evening up to do just that. The best way to do that is to pay attention to them. Really listen to them. Concentrate on making them feel that you appreciate them for who they are. Tell them your feelings. If you really want to impress them, write them a romantic poem. If you’re not a writer, you can find someone else’s words that convey your feelings for them, whether in a poem or a song. Whatever the method, the words and the sentiment needs to be genuine. They will feel it, and that makes the difference. They will appreciate the time and effort you have put into finding out what they like and dislike.

You can always run a nice bath with special bath salts or oils. If you call your local florist you can get rose petals to sprinkle around the room. If you want to do something like a massage for your partner, remember that it is about the giving. Don’t expect to get one back. If you want you can hire a massage therapist for the both of you, and follow it up with a nice cuddle session in front of a warm fire.

Romance can be taking someone to a show, museum, a picnic. Anything that both of you enjoy doing. Use your imagination. Take a gondola ride. Find a cozy cottage for a weekend getaway. Be creative and have fun.

What goes without saying is to stay clear of their dislikes, but I’m saying it anyway to emphasize to point. Too often we overlook what our partner dislikes, because we get caught up in what we like. Romance is not about your likes, but creating the atmosphere and feeling your partner will enjoy, and therefore you will both reap the benefits.